Pitch.

I’ve been dreaming lately of how I really want my apartment to look so that when I am able to acquire new bits here and there, they’re all heading in the same direction.
And I’ve had pitchers on the mind. Much like this piece. When I read it it gave me little shivers and images of crisp white sheets, Sunday newspapers, slippers and coffee and toast in bed.

 

.Pride and Prejudice and Pitchers.

I was poking around on Etsy when I came across Brookish’s site. Having liked Pride and Prejudice the first time and getting a real kick our of Pride andPrejudice and Zombies, I’ve enjoyed the resurgence of P&P related paraphanelia. This mug is great.

.Lovely for nothing.

Date.

Have I ever mentioned how cool my little brother is? He happened by where I work this evening just as I was closing up. We were chatting about his accident, and his latest lady. He asked waht I was doing tonight, and I reluctantly told him that I had a date. And while I won’t go into details as to how this fella and I met, tonight was “first date” night.

Let me share some details about me first. I hate meeting new people. I get nervous, and when I get nervous, my hands shake. A lot. And I become convinced that you can actually see my heart trying to beat out of my chest. And my brain suddenly can’t figure out what to say. There’s also the whole debate over what to wear. I have a lot of great individual pieces of clothing that I love, but they don’t really mesh into a great “this is who I am” outfit.

So I got my brother to drive me home and then sit there while I frantically tried on outfit after outfit. And y’know, he gives really good clothing advice! He’s willing to take the sibling relationship out of it and tell me what honestly looks good and what message it conveys. Wit his help, I settled on this:

.first date threads.

Not the greatest photo, but time was short. I settled on my favorite boots, my new short grey skirt and a blue cowl-necked shirt wtih (gasp) a belt over top. I’m not really a belt over the shirt kinda gal, but it looked good!

And the date? Well, it wasn’t awkward, the conversation flowed (possibly spurred on by the beer we drank) and he made me laugh. Was there a spark? No. But it was great to get out there and realize that I can still do this.

What was funny was the fact that when I looked around the bar, I saw some of my friends! So I’m sure I’ll have to share stories with them later, but that’s part of the fun, right?

All in all, I’d say it was a success.

Connection.

This is the “I have not internet” post. And will therefore be brief.

Halloween? A bust. I worked, then went home and fell asleep at the kitchen table. Sleeping through my favorite holiday of the year? Crummy. Finally catching up on some sleep? Almost priceless.

The upcoming date? Nervous. But am looking at it more like practice than a chance to make a real connection. Tomorrow will bring a fashion show with J so she can tell me what to wear that is both flirty and comfy.

Damage deposit? Arrived. But of the $850 paid originally, only $300 was returned. Bullshit? Totally.

Work? Am now the manager. Bigger paycheque? Marginally. Added responisbility? I get to do ordering. Feeling less embarassed about my job? Totally.

Friends? Slowly coming back.

Life? Looking up.

Ick.

So why is it that while the rest of the world is freaking out over H1N1, I’m being tested for Mono? I’ll tell you why. Because I’m in this stupid little bubble of shittiness right now.

I finally received my damage deposit and was apalled to see that it was less than half of what had originally been paid to them. So now I realy will have to take it to the Landlord/Tenant board to try to get at least a couple hundred dollars extra out of them. And in a week or so I have to pack up my entire apartment while they search for bedbugs. No, our building doesn’t have them, but the company that owns it has some other, slightly more slummish buildings that do. And my brother was in a car accident a couple days ago – got in a car with a drunk friend, passed out and said drunk driving friend proceded to go on a two hour joy ride with brother bear asleep in the passenger seat. A serious concussion, soft tissue damage and possibly some broken ribs later I’m hoping he’s learned that lesson. Oh yeah, and one of my new coworkers has H1N1 so I’ve been working all day, every day for pretty much the whole week. While my bank account will appreciate the extra coin, I’m tired!

I think things would really be looking up if I could sleep, get my internet hooked up (yes, I’m still stealing it) or even get a call back for one of the jobs I’ve applied for.

I hate to be in this whiny, weepy place but I’m having problems pulling myself out.

But there is a glimmer of light ahead. That’s right folks, I have a date on Tuesday. Fingers crossed I haven’t totally lost that side of myself and won’t make a total ass of myself.Keep y’all posted.

Happy Halloweening! I’m going to spend the evening with my friends and their new baby. Low key and family fun? Sign me right up!

I promise there won’t be many more of these awful posts. Once I get some sleep, I’ll be able to cope just a little bit more.

Musical.

Now, I may have the benefit of plenty of eye candy at my local grocery store. And that makes my shopping experience, well, beautiful if nothing else.

But why doesn’t something like this ever happen at Safeway?!?

(found….)

Day.

.pumpkin smash.

We’ve all had them. Those days that send you serching for the biggest rock to hide under or the darkest curtains to pull and shut the world out.

Yesterday was that day. I haven’t had a day that awful in months. But yesterday totally took the cake.

It started with the walk to work, during which I realized there was a hole in the pocket of my cardigan. In said pocket, I had been keeping my grandmother’s hankerchief which had been pulled out of storage specifically for last week’s funeral. And where is this lovely, dainty piece of pink cloth that still smelled like my gran even though she passed 7 years ago? Well that’s one hell of a good question. Because it sure isn’t in that pocket any more. That was the first shedding of tears.

Then I got to work and spilled all the contents of my purse in a mad search for the keys.

After putting my lunch in the fridge, I realized that everytime I remember one thing, I seem to forget two. Lunch? Check. Cellphone or coffee cup? Nope, those were still sitting on my kitchen counter.

The day itself wasn’t awful. Well, there was that pesky little hostage situation downtown which made me rather anxious as my mom tends to have meetings in that building a few times a week and she has friends there. And yes, two of her friends actually were in the group of people taken hostage. Luckily one was able to sneakily crawl her way out of the room without being caught. But the other woman was left with the gunman all day.  (And my mom didn’t have a meeting there that day. She did, however have one booked for today which, I assume, was cancelled.)

Then it was off to visit my grandpa in the hospital. While waiting for my distraught mom to pick my up, I was going over my finances, trying to figure out just how it is that I’m going to pay the bills. Luckily I have a friend who works for the internet company who was able to completely wipe out my bogus internet bill. Joy! But when one paycheque doesn’t even cover one month’s rent, well, let’s just hope that my boss doesn’t realize I’m stealing toilet paper! And of course I have not received a single call back for the dozens of resumes I’ve sent out. If this goes on much longer, I will have to go work for the aforementioned internet company (which, incidentally, I despise but would be willing to adore if they wanted to give me one of their shiny pay cheques).

Visit with gramps was awful as he’s getting ornery. And heartbreaking because he is also getting confused. I lost one grandmother to Alzheimer’s and have a great aunt with dementia. Cofusion is something I’m used to. Just not coming from my grandpa. But, thank the stars, his left side is coming along nicely and soon he will be transferred into a full-time rehabilitation hospital.

Once I got home, I cooked up some rice (did I mention that due to the financial tightness, I have been celebrating “Rice October”? Yes, that’s right. Rice. For pretty much every meal. Damn good thing I like it so much!). But  my stupid stupid stupid smoke detector started going off as soon as the water hit boiling. No smoke, just steam. Why it doesn’t go off every time I have a shower, I have no idea. But once again I have had to pull it off the wall just to get it to stop.

I then curled up in front of my new (to me) TV and popped a dvd in my new (to me) player. Unfortunatly, the DVD player has no remote which means that I can’t actually watch the 2-in-1 movie I just bought because I have no remote to toggle between movie one and movie two.

However, what really turned this into the kind of day that kicks you in the guts and leaves you staggering was the continuing effort to retrieve my damage deposit from the old building.  I’ve now had to get the Landlord and Tenant Advisory Board involved. They’re answering machine is full and no one is returning calls which, for one reason or another, gives me a really bad feeling.

So I curled up and went to sleep.

Thankfully today has been a much better day.  My idiot coworker seems to finally be getting the hang of things and I have a coffee date at the local S’bucks with an old girlfriend from high school later tonight. And to cap it off, I have tomorrow off. My Friday will be filled with walking with one of my best friends and her delightful chocolate lab down in the creek valley.

Here’s hoping you have all had a better week than I!

Hearts.

So apparently Scott Weiland watched The Science of Sleep a few years back and wanted to do a music video with that feel.  Wanting to give someone a big break, he put it out to art students to create a look.  Dennis Roberts (apparently a newbie at all this) put this video together.

Love it.

Thanks.

As Thanksgiving comes to a close for another year, I am thankful for tins of money found in new apartments, five minutes left on a parking meter, friendly hospital nurses, Oxygen tanks, “Please do not Disturb” signs, my family, having just enough wool to finish knitting that row, beets, finding long lost mix tapes, perfectly timed long-distance calls with dearest friends, nail polish remover, non-oil based paints, super glue, almond shell exfoliating scrub, cinnamon incense, eye masks for sleeping, warm towels, air freshener, pumpkin lattes, hugs, extra soft kleenex, friends’ comfy couches and just so much more.

This turkey holiday was a very different one for my family. With the passing of my uncle, and my grandpa still being in the stroke unit of the hospital, the house seemed very quiet. The food was, as per usual, amazing. And having all my cousins in town was fantastic. But it was all tinged with a sense of loss, with sadness… you could tell there was something missing.

Next week will be my uncle’s funeral, and I’ve got a dilemma on my hands. My aunt has asked me to read a piece of scripture at the funeral. First of all, I’m honoured that she would ask me (as opposed to one of his kids or grandkids). And after speaking at my grandmother’s funeral, I feel I’m prepared. But here’s the part I worry about. I do not believe in a god. I believe in a something, I just don’t know what it is, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t a church for it. I worry, though, that it will be, well, wrong, for an agnostic to read a piece of the bible at a funeral. One of my cousins seemed pretty upset that a non-believer would be taking on this role. I see it as the one last thing I can do to honour my uncle – his beliefs were a big part of who he was, especially in the last few years of his life. Tomorrow night we meet at my aunt’s with the priest to go over funeral plans, so I assume all will become clear after that.

I’m hoping that the hospital staff will let us take my grandpa out of the hospital for the afternoon for that event. He won’t come to the wake afterwards (and as he is about to celebrate his 50ish AA birthday, this boozefest wouldn’t really be his cup of tea), but a father should have the right to go to his son’s funeral.  And with the progress he’s been making in his physio, by then he might even have a bit more control over his left side, which would make it easier to move him around.He’s got a long road to recovery ahead of him, but he’s prepared.

For now, I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that November will bring a little calm to my family. Fingers crossed for no illness, death, strokes or hospitals, even if only for a little while.

Hoping you have all had wonderful Thanksgivings!

Flurry.

As I mentioned earlier, last night I went for a nice long walk. As I was strolling, I kept thinking that I should have brought my camera, as all the puddles were in that awesome semi-frozen state where the ice crystals are huge.
You want to know why else I should have brought my camera?

.snow.

Yes. It snowed. Actually, it is snowing. Right now. Outisde.
I am not winter’s biggest fan. While I have decided to make the best of it, I didn’t anticipate it beginning quite so early.

Style.

Ever notice that most people who are described as having “fabulous personal style”, or some derivative of fabulous, are always skinny? Either that or they have a style this is just way out there that I cannot imagine copying.
As I may have mentioned a few times here or there, I recently lost a few breakup pounds. Well, by a few I mean ten. Give or take. I think it depends on how heavy my jeans are when I step on the scale. And in an effort to keep off that weight, possibly lose a few extra poundages and fit into my newly thrifted short grey skirt (which you will all see when it stops puckering around the hips), I’m getting back into my walking habit.
Tonight I walked for about forty five minutes and, with the exception of cold fingers and sore feet, it was fab. Living in a new neighbourhood, I have new houses to spy on, new corner shops to check out and different routes to try out.

.skinny posing.

When my mom and I went on our anti-wedding distractionary weekend, she kept telling me how to stand in order to make myself seem slimmer. She felt this was her greatest success because my tummy seems tiny. I feel it’s more because my hips are cut out.
Feeling good these days, despite my grandpa being back in hospital and the waiting game still going with my uncle. And I’m so jazzed to see how well my plants are taking to the new pad! It seems they are getting the perfect light they all need. Yippee!!!